After 5 days of vacation in which the weather was crappy for 4 of them, I went back to work today. This afternoon when I got home, I went outside and pulled most of the remnants of last year’s weeds from the garden area.
As I was reading in bed early this morning, unable to sleep after napping late yesterday afternoon, my 44th birthday quietly arrived. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, so I wanted to take a moment and reflect on my life, as well as recent events.
Have you ever been going along, minding your own business, when something suddenly hits you and changes the way you look at your entire life? I’m not talking about an accident or sudden misfortune, but a shift in perspective that causes what seems like total chaos to re-order itself into something completely different. I had such an experience this morning, and my life will never be the same.
It’s been hard for me to go to work lately. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a job, one that pays pretty well in addition to some other benefits. But the last couple weeks or so, it just doesn’t feel like enough.
Seems surreal to think it’s been almost three weeks since my last blog entry. In that time, I’ve dealt with the dentist, class, the hot (food) party, and just life in general. My last grandparent passed away recently, my older granddaughter just turned three a couple weeks ago, a friend of mine had his 37th or so birthday today, and my 44th is coming up in a couple weeks. Last night I was watching a movie on tv, and when it was over, I had the very distinct feeling that I was waiting for something.
I learned on the mat. Okay, probably not, but I have learned some really important lessons that I can take off the mat apply in my life. What I hope to accomplish here is to write my thoughts after every class, if possible, and track my progress as well as leave reminders for the future when I may need to hear something again.
it is said that if you study and practice a subject for just 15 minutes a day, every day, that you will become an expert in that subject. Lately I have become dissatisfied with my progress at the dojo, mainly because of my inability to keep attending in a regular fashion. I go for a couple of weeks, then I get hurt, or in this last case, go to the dentist, and I’m out for 2 weeks or so. I can’t progress regularly doing this.
It’s been a very strange day for me. I received a call shortly before I left the house after lunch - my grandmother, my last remaining grandparent, my father’s mother, passed away this morning from natural causes. My grandfather had passed sometime ago. Being the oldest surviving member of the family, my father now becomes the patriarch of our extended clan. Not that that means much these days, especially with a family as large and far flung as his has become. He has many brothers and sisters spread across the US now, and doubtless I have many cousins I have never met.
In many neo-pagan religions, today is Imbolc, which the Catholics have borrowed and now refer to as Candlemas. In Wicca, this day is dedicated to the Irish goddess Brigid, Goddess of Poetry, Smithcrafting, and Healing. There are many associations for today, and even now a fraction of these traditions have been passed down and changed into what Americans refer to as Groundhog Day.
A lot has happened in the last three days or so. I’ve learned a lot about myself in several areas, a lot of it good.