the phagos blog

Over the last six to twelve months, my thinking and way of looking at things has been changing.  Most of my life has been spent doing things a certain way, one that I’ve found doesn’t work for me any more.  Well, not as well as I’d like.  You see, when I’d first learn about something, or start doing something, I’d jump in head first, immerse myself, and learn or do everything I could.  Then when I hit a certain point, I’d abandon the methodical approach and rely more on my intuitive sense.  The end result was I’d wind up jumping around here and there, never finishing anything, just making a big unfinished mess before I’d abandon it altogether.  My work was a bit like that too, and it was sloppier than it should have been.  But that’s been changing.

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Since the experience I wrote about in my last post, I’ve done a number of things that I wouldn’t have done before that.  The last couple days, that’s been on my mind a lot.  I tend to think deeply when I’m tired, and that’s not really a good thing for me, since my thoughts go places that aren’t good for me when I’m tired.  At jujitsu class tonight, I got some much needed perspective.

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Usually I try to think of some clever one or two word title that sort of sums up what the post is about.  I decided to change that this time.  Some of my friends are going to read this, people I see everyday at work, and maybe my daughter.  Instead of couching things behind vague terms, I want this explanation understood as clearly as possible.  Ten days ago, April 22nd, 2009,  I experienced an event that has forever altered me and the way I see the world.

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I learned on the mat. Okay, probably not, but I have learned some really important lessons that I can take off the mat apply in my life. What I hope to accomplish here is to write my thoughts after every class, if possible, and track my progress as well as leave reminders for the future when I may need to hear something again.

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it is said that if you study and practice a subject for just 15 minutes a day, every day, that you will become an expert in that subject.  Lately I have become dissatisfied with my progress at the dojo, mainly because of my inability to keep attending in a regular fashion.  I go for a couple of weeks, then I get hurt, or in this last case, go to the dentist, and I’m out for 2 weeks or so.  I can’t progress regularly doing this.

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A lot has happened in the last three days or so.  I’ve learned a lot about myself in several areas, a lot of it good.

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I just got home from jujitsu class around 7:30 tonight.  That’s a bit unusual in that I don’t normally go to the dojo on Tuesday nights.  However, it looks like I’ll be going to class more than 3 nights a week when its available.

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There’s a gap in my understanding of things.  The cause of this gap is not exactly clear to me, but I know it’s there.  In fact, there’s a lot of things I don’t know, or understand.  This particular gap applies to the Law of Attraction, LOA for short. I have suspected for a while that I was missing something, but not long ago that was made clear to me, though a roundabout manner.

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It seems yesterday I was a bit hasty in my decision to quit blogging anywhere but my main blogging site.  The nature of my blogs are still going back to what they were - records of my thoughts, rather than events.  With that in mind, I do want to explain a bit about what prompted the reversal of my decision.

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‘An unexamined life is not worth living.’ - Socrates
This line of thought finally coalesced Saturday night while doing my food prep, and it was a phone call I received at lunch on Friday that triggered it.  It’s something I’ve been thinking about and and off for a while in bits and pieces.  I’m not talking about the big ‘Why?’ that spawned the fields of religion, philosophy, and science, but rather something a little closer to home.   My question is this: why do I do the things I choose to do?

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