reawakening
Last month I flew back to Colorado to visit my family. It was long overdue, as it had been several years since I’d been back, and even longer since I’d seen my daughter. Since the last time i’d seen her, she’s gotten married and had two beautiful daughters of her own. Still, I felt ambivalent about going back for a visit, for reasons I won’t go into here. I’m glad I did though, it has rejuvenated me in a lot of ways.
On a lighthearted note, I got to eat a lot of great Chinese and tex-mex style cooking, something I’ve sorely missed since moving here in 2001. Food is important to me, though for different reasons that it was when I moved here. These days, I’m trying to get healthier, and my visit inspired me to do that.
I got to spend some time I the mountains as well, riding up Pikes Peak on the railway and visiting another place that holds very important and very private memories for me. As I suspected, particularly on Pikes Peak, I didn’t want to leave. Don’t get me wrong – I love the forests of South Carolina, but they feel much different than the Rocky Mountain forests. I miss them still.
What I’m trying to say is this: there are some very deep and very important parts of myself that I’ve neglected for a while, and in some sense, my vacatioj was a wake up call, a very loud ringing of a metaphysical alarm clock. I must confess to something both dismaying and changeable. I portray myself differently on the web than I do in real life.
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about something along this line. I was talking about the fact that I have several distinct and separate sets of friends that have almost no knowledge of each other, that behave and expect different things – sometimes very different. Sometimes this doesn’t bother me in thje slightest – lately, it’s bothered me a great deal. I’m rapidly reaching the conclusion that I really don’t care if people online think I’m strange because of whaat I happen to know or the things I’m into – since they’re just esoteric, but not harmful, so what? I already knoiw that most people aren’t interested in the same things I am, so only those open minded enough to look at new things would be interested enough to read what I have to way anyway. And that’s ok.
Having said all that, don’t be surprised when I start writing about things that you may not understand. If I lose my entire audience, that’s ok. Eventually the ones that need to hear what I’m saying will find their way here. It’s all good,