the phagos blog

Tomorrow morning I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a very long time.  I’m going to get up a little early, and I’m going to do ritual before I go to work.  Over the last few days, I’ve realized that fear has been keeping me from taking the next step into the unknown.  Last year, when I was taking the second module at the dojo for restoration therapy, we were given exercises to do to develop our internal abilities.  Chi strengtheners, things along that line.  For reasons that have only become clear to me to this week, I never did them.

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In the not too distant past, I’ve talked about why my life changed.  The first couple weeks after were really intense, discovering all the differences.  Now that some time has passed, things are settling down some.  I’m settling down some.  And I’m noticing some things that I didn’t notice before, may not have noticed before.  When I get on the mat at the dojo, everything else in the world goes away, or stops.  Nothing occupies my thoughts during that time except for what is right in front of me on the mat.  When class is over and I leave the dojo, I feel completely different - refreshed, centered - as if I’ve reoriented my world differently and I’m no longer worrying about this or thinking about that - I’m still centered in the moment.

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For those of you who haven’t heard, I got my motorcycle fixed recently. Yay!  I’m very happy about it.  For those of you who haven’t experienced it, riding a motorcycle can be one of the greatest feelings in the world.  In a car, you watch the outside world go by like so much scenery.  On a motorcycle, it’s not scenery - you’re part of it, it’s part of you.  There’s no tv like window to watch it all go by.  It’s been so long, though, it’s almost like doing it for the first time again.  With that in mind, I wanted to share my impression of what it’s like.

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Change is in the air.  Okay, it’s always in the air - it’s inevitable. I’m still discovering changes from the events of a month and a half ago.  The one I want to talk about tonight is the sudden urge to complete things.  For those of you who know me well, this will come as some surprise, since I’m not exactly noted for finishing what I start.  That’s changing for the better now.

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