gut check
It’s been hard for me to go to work lately. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a job, one that pays pretty well in addition to some other benefits. But the last couple weeks or so, it just doesn’t feel like enough.
At times I’ve wondered what it would be like to be a professional writer. Not just in the last couple of weeks, but on and off for a while. I have the talent, what really remains is to do the actual writing. This week I’ve tried changing my schedule around to make sure I do the things that are necessary to achieve my goals. I’ve discovered that is easier said than done.
The problem is my multiple goals. My one and only goal until it’s accomplished is to pass the black belt test. That won’t be until August. Understandably, the important things on my changed schedule relate to passing the test. It poses a problem though - there doesn’t seem to be enough time to do the things for the test and write and go to work and keep in touch with my friends, who I’m already neglecting due to my hectic schedule. It just seems like something has to give, and right now I’m not getting any writing done. I originally scheduled myself for just 15 minutes of writing a day - but I barely get into the flow of it and then I have to move on to something else. It’s not enough time. But every day I don’t do it is another day I haven’t gotten any closer to another, longer term goal.
It’s time for a gut check - how much do I want to pursue a writing career? Do I want to do it as a side gig, or work towards making it my primary work? It comes down to one word - sacrifice. How much am I willing to sacrifice to do what I want to do? Am I willing to give up free time and stop lying around and do something about it? I have some time off coming up next week around my birthday, I think I’m going to take some of that time and think long and hard about it. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.