the phagos blog

Despite my predilection for sometimes putting my innermost thoughts on the web for public consumption, I am, at heart, an intensely private person. I continue to resist having a Facebook account, and I can only be located on MySpace by chance, unless I tell you how to find me. You won’t find me on LinkedIn, or Twitter, or other social networking sites because I’m not there.  Googling my name actually finds two other people by the same name - one is a golfer in the New England area, and the other is a Londoner, who also happens to work in the IT field - neither of which are me, or related to me. Now that I’ve gotten that semi-relevant bit out of the way, let’s get on with it.

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After 5 days of vacation in which the weather was crappy for 4 of them, I went back to work today.  This afternoon when I got home, I went outside and pulled most of the remnants of last year’s weeds from the garden area.

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As I was reading in bed early this morning, unable to sleep after napping late yesterday afternoon, my 44th birthday quietly arrived.  I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, so I wanted to take a moment and reflect on my life, as well as recent events.

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Have you ever been going along, minding your own business, when something suddenly hits you and changes the way you look at your entire life?  I’m not talking about an accident or sudden misfortune, but a shift in perspective that causes what seems like total chaos to re-order itself into something completely different.  I had such an experience this morning, and my life will never be the same.

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It’s been hard for me to go to work lately. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a job, one that pays pretty well in addition to some other benefits. But the last couple weeks or so, it just doesn’t feel like enough.

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Seems surreal to think it’s been almost three weeks since my last blog entry.  In that time, I’ve dealt with the dentist, class, the hot (food) party, and just life in general.  My last grandparent passed away recently, my older granddaughter just turned three a couple weeks ago, a friend of mine had his 37th or so birthday today, and my 44th is coming up in a couple weeks.  Last night I was watching a movie on tv, and when it was over, I had the very distinct feeling that I was waiting for something.

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