why
‘An unexamined life is not worth living.’ - Socrates
This line of thought finally coalesced Saturday night while doing my food prep, and it was a phone call I received at lunch on Friday that triggered it. It’s something I’ve been thinking about and and off for a while in bits and pieces. I’m not talking about the big ‘Why?’ that spawned the fields of religion, philosophy, and science, but rather something a little closer to home. My question is this: why do I do the things I choose to do?
A little background so you can see where I’m coming from and follow my reasoning better. I’ve been practicing yoga on and off for a while now, mostly off lately. Some people are really into yoga, want to learn all about it, the philosophy of it, all the movements, all the details that come with a subject with any depth. On the other hand, my interest in yoga is really just about improving my flexibility - the details don’t interest me, unless they help me achieve that result. So I’m artificially dividing practitioners into two groups - those who are interested in yoga for yoga’s sake, and those, like myself, who are strictly interested in the results it brings.
Another area where I’ve been reading debate lately is computers. Some people are really into computers - writing software, arguing about which application or operating system is best for various tasks and the like. Society labels the majority of these people ‘geeks’. On the other side are people who just use computers to get stuff done. Applications and other lingo and arguments are lost on them, because they don’t think about the details. They use it to get stuff done and get on with their lives.
Keeping that in mind, the phone call I got Friday was about doing restoration therapy at a martial arts clinic held over the weekend. I had completely forgotten it was happening, and I didn’t feel like working on anyone, so I didn’t go. I thought about it a lot though, trying to figure out why I didn’t go. Other than feeling less sociable than usual. From my last post, you’ll remember that I was starting to look at my life differently, more as a picture than a puzzle, able to change my perspective by looking at circumstances differently.
Being completely honest with myself, I’m not learning restoration therapy to help other people - I’m learning it to help me. I want to change myself to benefit from my learning, because I see where that learning can take me, and I want that - I want to become like that.
From there, it just mushroomed out. Why do I practice a martial art? It can’t be because I wasn’t allowed to as a kid - most people wouldn’t stay it several years just for that. Rank is not my primary consideration - if it were, I’d have gotten my black belt already. No, what I’m really after is more intangible. It’s learning those life lessons I’ve shared with you that have translated from the mat into my life. Corny as it may sound, it’s that mystical quality shared by those who are masters in their art. But I think the number one reason is confidence. If you’ve ever met someone who’s gone beyond just proficiency to possess true skill, there’s always a subtle confidence about them that permeates their actions. It’s something I’m working on developing in myself, but I haven’t achieved it yet, not in the ways I’d like to.
I didn’t stop there - I started asking myself why I do other things as well. My idea is to align the things I do so that they’re all going the same direction - towards the goals I want to achieve, and the things I want to become. I hadn’t asked myself why in a while, and reflecting on some of the things I do, I don’t know why I do some of them any more. They don’t take me where I want to go, and sometimes actually get in the way. I think I’ll be asking myself why a little more often.