no right answer
Ladies, I’m going to tell you the words most men fear more than any other: do these pants make me look fat? Men don’t fear them because they’re fashion impaired, which a lot of men are. Rather, they fear them because there’s no right answer to the question.
Oftentimes when that question is asked, you already have an answer in mind, and often that answer is yes. No man in his right mind is going to say that though. So if he says yes, he’s a complete jerk, and probably deserves whatever flack he gets. When he says no, the most likely response is, you’re just saying that. So, whatever answer he picks he’s wrong. Or you’re just testing him, which is worse. If you feel like you have to test him, do you really want to be with him to begin with?
When one of my ex’s and I were together, we realized there are a whole range of questions like this that have no right answer, depending on the context. Our agreement was that when one person would ask a question with no right answer, the other would respond with do these pants make me look fat? A simple, humorous reminder to lighten up and to remind the other person they already know the answer, and that there is no right answer.
Unfortunately, not all situations can end with a laugh. A friend of mine has recently said some things that I haven’t responded to. I’d like to respond, but I feel like I’ve been asked if those pants make them look fat. At the same time, they’re getting upset that I haven’t responded - damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Goddess only knows what to say, because I don’t.