the thinning veil
I thought I’d posted at least once since last Sunday, but I guess not. Exhaustion will do that to you. Samhain is only a three short days away… the Veil between the worlds continues to thin. Although Samhain is my favorite holiday, it is not without a bittersweet taste, having lost people and pets close to me. I know they’re close to me, thoughts of them come into my mind unbidden.
I know in my head that every year the Veil thins at this time, but this year I seem to feel it more than usual. I know when my late wife is around me, because that’s when I think of her. I don’t think of her in the normal course of living any more, except when she is near me. I know this because I’ll be going along during my day, doing whatever, and suddenly I’m thinking of her, of some memory of her, sometimes I smile, other times it just hurts. This year those memories seem particularly sharp, of her, of my departed pets.
I can’t explain it, but I seem to be feeling everything more intensely this year - even apathy. It’s like I’ve put on this big emotional magnifier - I don’t know how else to explain it. Maybe it just feels that way because I’m getting more in touch with who I am and the world around me, and I’m paying attention to where I am and how I feel about things.
Whatever the case, Samhain is rapidly approaching, and immediately after that is the martial arts clinic - no time for recovery there. Let’s see how I hold up under the pressure.