ghosts
Tonight there was a work function at a hotel downtown, an evening of a jazz with a local musician who has done a lot. I, along with three thousand (supposedly) of my co-workers and their spouses or friends, came to see it. I walked into the hotel, not thinking much about it, when I noticed a little bar/restaurant off to the side of the hall towards the area where the even was. I thought to myself, hey, that looks like the place we ate the day we had the witches’ ball when we were decorating place. It should look like it, because it was the place. I was back in the hotel where the witches’ ball was held almost 4 years ago.
It was a bit disconcerting being there, at least at first. The ballroom where the ball was held was decorated in a completely different style, but there was no mistaking the hall outside with the tall wooden decorated columns. It was definitely the place. I spent the first while trying to figure out if it was too weird, or too sad, or too something to stay there. It seems like a lifetime ago, and in some ways, I suppose it was. I remember how we had it decorated, the events of the evening, and how I felt about it all.
I decided to put all that aside for a bit, try to get into the spirit of the current event, ad see what happened. I found some people I know, hung out with them for a bit, and just generally had a good time. And after some time had passed, I realized: I had let go of something I didn’t know I’d still been holding, and in the process I got back a piece of myself that I didn’t know I’d been missing. Part of me has been healed. I can’t tell you how exactly, or even what it was that healed, I just know that I feel different somehow - better.
I think it’s only appropriate that approaching Samhain an unexpected ghost should come up, and closure and healing unlooked for has come. I think during the coming season that I’ll be doing a lot more internal work, cleaning out and healing my heart, than I’ve done in a while. In fact, it’s probably long overdue. Be gentle with myself. Maybe this is the start of it all.