mourning
As I was beginning to get ready for bed last night, I received a phone call from a friend of mine. Not too unusual, except for the time, which was later than she usually stays up. After checking the message, I called her back immediately. Someone I met several years ago, an acquaintance that I haven’t seen in some time, was killed last Wednesday when his car was hit head on by a drunk driver. He was all of 20 years old.
The funeral service was held earlier today. As the young man was pagan, and I am pagan and a High Priest, I was asked to speak at his service to represent his faith. I didn’t speak long, or even eloquently, but I did speak from the heart, and the sincerity of my words touched those who were there. Afterwards, I thought of a hundred additional things I could have said, but I think what I said was enough, and the people who needed to hear what I said heard it. Before I spoke I asked my guides to help me find the words to say.
This is the first memorial service I’ve been to since the one I held for my late wife six and a half years ago, and the first in which I addressed a roomful of mostly strangers. Before and after the service, two very sobering thoughts have dominated my thinking for the day. One has been on my mind lately anyway, and today has given extra weight: am I making the most of the life I am living? The other thought is, what effect have I had on people’s lives that I don’t know about?
The second one plays at my mind because his sister was the one that wanted me to speak, to represent his faith at the service. I knew her less than he, yet in time of need, she remembered me, and through determination and a bit of luck, was able to reach someone who could reach me. I have up to this point thought that my influence in people’s lives was minimal, that I was like the fish that represents my zodiac symbol, swimming in and out of people’s lives, to be forgotten when the ripples of my passing faded away. I can no longer believe that.
Anyway, today was about the passing of this remarkable young man, and the honor bestowed on me by requesting me to speak. It has certainly made me think, and will in the days to come.