recovering
It’s been a while since I wrote anything, but then again, my back hasn’t exactly been quick to recover from the injury I sustained last month. It’s recovering though, getting better, and so is the rest of my life. There’s quite a bit that’s happened, so let’s get going.
First, my back. I went to a chiropractor a few times, but after spending a lot of money without any noticeable improvement and a second opinion, I quit going to him. A couple of teachers at my school have been helping me a lot, both with acupuncture and massage. A fringe benefit of my dojo, and one of the primary reasons I chose it. I want to learn the healing side as well as the martial side. Anyway, I continue to improve, and my teachers are helping.
I had an interview last week for another job at a subsidiary of the company I work for. I think the interview went well, but I haven’t heard anything from them, so I’m assuming they don’t want me, or personnel is moving extremely slow, which may be the case. My company, like many big companies, moves at a glacial pace.
Although I spent most of my financial reserves on the chiropractor, my financial situation is stabilizing. Things will be tight for a while, but manageable. I’m looking forward to seeing them improve over time.
I painted my meditation room last weekend, it was the last room that really had my ex-wife’s influence in it still, since she picked the color. The color was ok, a light purple, but it wasn’t really my choice for the room. So I dismantled it and painted it a beautiful green color. Now I’m ready to move a chair in there and make it my reading room also. It feels much more friendly and inviting now. I bought a couple of new, shorter bookcases for it as well. Since I had to move a bunch of books, I thought I’d clean more of them out, mostly old technical books that I’m never going to read again, or ever. I’ll donate them to the local library or someone that can sell them. I found the inspiration and energy to do that after reading this post on Paul Graham’s site about having too much stuff, which I do.
I’ve decided I dating isn’t that important, at least for right now. I took my profile down from every site except two, and will likely pull it from those sites in the next few days. I’m beginning to think that the reason I’m not bringing someone loving into my life is because I don’t love myself enough yet. Not in a narcissistic, hey check me out way, but in an I’m ok, secure in myself and can love someone else kind of way. When I’m ready, I’ll attract the right person, and circumstances will arrange themselves for me to meet her. Not that I’ll sit back and expect everything to be done by someone or something else, just that I will be in the right place at the right time.
Anyway, I think the hardest thing the last month has been being off the mat. I miss the jujitsu, and I’ve put some weight back on because of forced inactivity. I expect to be back in class in the next week or so, starting with some lighter activity before working back to full activity. Which means I won’t be testing for my black belt in November, but that’s life. I’ll test for it next year. For now, I just need to get back in class and get back in practice.
One other thing I’ve noticed since my injury: I’ve been doing tons of processing, letting go of pent up emotion. I really think this injury happened because I had stuff I needed to let go of, and my body didn’t have any other way of making me let go of it. I’ve discovered some things about myself in the process, things which I’m doing something about. I’m going back to my roots, in some sense, finding out where certain things started so I can release them once and for all.
Anyway, that’s everything for the moment. I haven’t felt like blogging much since the injury, but I should be back on a more regular basis going forward. I’m looking forward to establishing some new habits and getting better.