more blahs…
I’m not exactly sure what’s going on, but I’ve discovered one big symptom for all this blah-ness, if you will: I’m in an anti-social phase.
Not like that’s a huge surprise to anyone, since I’m not a big people person anyway, but that seems to be where I’m at the last couple of weeks. With the exception of a few friends, I don’t want to be around anyone lately. I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to go to class, I don’t want to go anywhere. I just want to stay home.
When I was thinking about this post earlier today, the phrase I orginally had in mind was stay home and cocoon myself, which is likely a hint about what’s really going on inside: things are changing, and I want to be by myself until I feel ready to make those changes known. The last 3 days have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me, for reasons I don’t understand. Granted, I was tired Monday, but stupid, insignificant things set me off, or I want to cry for no apparent reason. If I were female, I’d think it was getting close to that time of the month. Maybe I’m just making too big a deal of the whole thing. It could be that I just don’t care for the work I’m doing either - I’m fine going into work in the morning, it’s usually in the afternoon when things start really going downhill. I had to work to convince myself to go to work today though, I almost called in. I may very well do that tomorrow.
Whatever the case, if you don’t hear from for a bit, it’s nothing personal. I just need some serious space right about now.