spirals
Before getting into the topic at hand, quick mention that I weighed in at 189 even yesterday, 14 pounds left to my goal.
Yule is coming, only 3 days away now. I’ve finished this round of cleaning stuff out of my house - been through all the closets, the kitchen cabinets, old paperwork, I’ve been through it all.
Of course, there’s still stuff lying about here and there on the floor, because although the cleaning out is done, I don’t quite have everything put away yet. It makes me feel both disheartened and glad: glad that the cleaning out is done, but disheartened because I still have a mess in the house. Nothing that a good couple hours of work won’t fix though.
It seems like this cleaning out process is never done though. After going through the physical, I’m going through my mental, emotional, and spiritual things too, and cleaning out what no longer works for me. It’s a spiral: things done on one level tend to propagate themselves, or reoccur on the other levels. In fact, it may be that I did this cleaning ou ton the physical plane to bring my environment more in harmony with what I’ve already been doing emotionally. We do things again, and again, and again, until all the levels are brought into harmony with each other. Sometimes that ‘harmony’ means bringing all your levels of being into the same type of disharmony or chaotic patterns, we decide which it is.
I love jujitsu, it’s very much a microcosmic example of the idea. First I learn a technique on the physical plane, doing it over and over again while it builds into muscle memory. After I become proficient physically, then I get to look at it mentally while I’m doing it, figuring it why and when it’s effective. Eventually it gets absorbed into my automatic thought processes and I do it without thinking, babsorbing it into myself and my spirit.
It may sound silly, but I’ve noticed that I move different now than I used to. I don’t run into things all the time like I used to, I’m more coordinated. I know I think different too, but I don’t know how much of that comes from jujitsu and how much comes from other things. I have more self-confidence too. I’m not afraid of things like I used to be. I know it colors the way I think, but I don’t notice it - it’s just become part of who I am.
Enjoy your journey on the spiral - it’s never too late to start changing on one level to change on all levels.