the phagos blog

As most of you reading this already know, I take jujitsu classes in the evenings three times a week.  Tonight’s class was frustrating to me, as I came into class with a muscle that couldn’t decide if it was pulled or not, and 45 minutes into class I jammed my thumb when it got stuck under the guy I was throwing.  although sensei wrapped it immediately, I was unable to continue.  So I sat at the side of class and watched, and while I learned, it wasn’t what I wanted to do.  It just seemed like the perfect ending to a perfectly crappy day.

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Ok, so it’s cheesy, but hey, I have to write something to amuse myself now and then. Anyway, some friends of mine and I are taking our first stumbling steps towards establishing a Reiki Shares group here in Columbia. Although it’s a couple of days away still, I think my body is getting ready for our first session. I hope it becomes a regular thing, I haven’t regularly practiced on other people except for the 16 month stretch starting with my late wife’s diagnosis of cancer and her passing.

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Well, Lughnasad and Mabon have come and gone, but I want to take a few moments and talk about harvest time.  This year’s harvest was more intense than in recent years.  This year I have reclaimed my power, reclaimed myself, rediscovered things about myself, and also resulted in a divorce and some other less pleasant lessons as well - lessons that needed to be learned to enable me to move forward.

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Here’s a wonderful Mabon ritual we did last night, written by two friends of mine that I do circle with.

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I’ve been learning quite a bit about myself lately, some good, some I want to change.  Today I learned a couple things about myself, and found my faith again - in myself and in Great Spirit, Higher Power, God, Goddess - whatever term you use for deity.  (Warning - lengthy post ahead)

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Richard Bach, one of my favorite authors, wrote: “If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats.”  For some reason that came to mind not long ago, and after some reflection, I’ve decided that’s true, at least to a point.

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I had a good weekend this past weekend. Saturday during the day I did my usual shopping/clean up routine, along with a reading from a very good astrologer, and got to hang out with my friends from work on Saturday night, I was up late Saturday night - somewhere between 2 - 3 am, then up again around 7:30 Sunday morning. I was a bit tired, as you can imagine.

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Last night was my second class back in jujitsu, and I managed to make it through the entire class this time.  The warm up was a bit less vigorous, and the rolls and falls easier to do.  We started out with Yawara te (techniques of gentleness), then Nage te (throwing techniques), then the last half hour was gun and knife techniques.  So afterward, I changed back into civilian clothes,  said my goodbyes and walked out to the car, and I was feeling really good like I do after a good class.  As I got to the car, I looked up at the sky and stopped dead in my tracks at the beauty of it.

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Well, last night was my not quite so triumphant return to class. After a twenty minute warm up, ten minutes of rolls and falls, I lasted about 15 minutes before I had to stop from heat exhaustion. It’s my own fault really - I deserve to be out of shape for not showing up for almost 3 months. To paraphrase from the Karate Kid - “You jujitsu do, or you jusitsu don’t. You jujitsu try, squish like grape.”

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Tonight, after almost 3 months away, I return to jujitsu class. I’m not nervous like I thought I would be, because for some reason I was when I thought about it earlier. But I have decided that I am going to be a martial artist, not just someone who does martial arts. The verbal distinction is fine, but the reality is worlds apart.

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